(Source: pleatedjeans, via juliasegal)
I’m not sure if I can handle another week of this. I don’t like looking at everything and thinking, “Well, I guess that was college,” and I don’t even want to bother writing anything down because This is already so perfect and poignant and heartbreaking that I feel like I could just curl into a ball and stop existing. She’s absolutely right. It’s the opposite of loneliness. It’s not community, because god forbid I admit that I am a part of the same world as some of the people I know. But I am. Family is the most important thing in the world to me, and I hate it, but now I have to leave my family. Go away and grow up.
But first I need to start getting things done on time. I need to own nail polish remover instead of just hoping it will chip off eventually. I need to stop being cordial and start sticking to my guns. I need to get rid of my backpack and half of my clothes. I need to eat better. I need to stop spending my whole day drinking and finding bruises on my knees the next morning. I need to be financially stable enough to purchase a box fan for my window, and I need to clean my room once a week. I need to see Casablanca and finish Jane Eyre and listen to the radio.
But first, I need to take a shower. I need to do a job application and go to rehearsals and savor these moments. I need to wipe my eyes, wash my hair, and remember that this is beautiful and sacred. And shouldn’t be missed. And will never be forgotten.
(Source: thomaslelu.net, via nevver)
I was one of the last people called up today at the UT picnic, which sort of shocked me, since I don’t consider myself to be very important to the community. As Heidi read my show credits, even though they were self reported, it felt weird hearing about all the stuff I had eagerly done as a first, second, even third year just to keep myself busy. It wasn’t until this year that I figured out what I really wanted to do was act.
But despite that, the weirdest part was that Heidi’s one-liner about me wasn’t about UT, it was about Men in Drag. And I wonder now if maybe that was my place all along. I’m a singer, I do musicals, I’m in a band. Every single act I did at the Senior Show involved me singing. A girl asked me tonight if I wanted to do music professionally, and the only thing I could tell her is “I want to do music for the rest of my life.”
Great. I didn’t already feel weird about my relationship to every man in this organization. Please, tell me again how you should have picked me in paranoia for “who in this room would you like most to be your parent?”
Everything is so fucked up. I’m so glad I’m graduating.
For the deans men.
(via bananafin)
ahh suddenly feels like life metaphorNOO ISABEL WHY DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I CRY
(Source: octopus-ahoy)
This is 100% everything I feel about this last week.
